Many of you are likely familiar with Frank Sinatra’s 1955 classic “Love and Marriage.”
Love and marriage, love and marriage
Go together like a horse and carriage
This I tell you, brother
You can’t have one without the other
Love and marriage, love and marriage
It’s an institute you can’t disparage
Ask the local gentry
And they will say it’s elementary
Such lyrics today may strike us as quaint, a reflection of an era that has passed. But in these lyrics is a timeless truth that we would do well to continue heeding: the elementary nature and importance of love, marriage, and the family.
Beyond the sentimentality these words can sometimes bring up, the institutions of marriage and the family are the basic building blocks of human society. And the degree to which we honor these institutions is directly correlated to the ongoing survival and flourishing of civilization itself.
A timeless truth: why marriage and family are important
In the book of Genesis, we learn foundational truths about what it means to be human. First, we are told that God created humanity in His image (Genesis 1:26). In verse 27, the text then draws the reader into an astounding connection: that image can be seen in the beauty and glory of being created male and female.
So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.
God blesses male and female and commands them to “be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it” (Genesis 1:28). How are they to do this? Genesis 2, the next chapter, helps flesh this out.
God creates the first man, Adam, but then states, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him” (Genesis 2:18). None of the animals God had made were fit for such a role, and so God made Eve in His image from Adam’s own body. She was like Adam, yet different. Thus, Adam said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man” (Genesis 2:23).
All of this leads to a profound conclusion: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). In these verses, we see the establishment of marriage and the family. From that one flesh union formed between the man and the woman came children, and those children later left their fathers and mothers to form families of their own. As Genesis goes on to show, from those families eventually come cities, tribes, and nations. In other words, marriage and family form the basis of what we have come to call civilization.
Many other ancient societies understood this principle as well. The Roman statesman Cicero wrote in his treatise De Officiis (On Duties):
“For since the reproductive instinct is by Nature’s gift the common possession of all living creatures, the first bond of union is that between husband and wife; the next, that between parents and children; then we find one home, with everything in common. And this is the foundation of civil government, the nursery, as it were, of the state.”
Without citizens coming together in marriages and having children to form the basic building blocks of families, those building blocks could not join to form larger political entities like a nation. That is why governments throughout human history have (to various degrees) protected the institutions of marriage and the family. Without the institutions that foster the generation and cultivation of new citizens, a nation would eventually die out.
Challenges to marriage and family
While societies have generally understood the importance of marriage and family, this hasn’t gone without its challenges.
For various reasons throughout history, some people have decided not to marry or have children. Even thousands of years ago, the Roman emperor Augustus lamented the number of unmarried men in the suburbs of Rome. So, in one sense, struggles with the institutions of marriage and family are nothing new (Ecclesiastes 1:9). Yet, over the last 50-100 years, American society has seen dramatic shifts in its attitudes and practices towards marriage and family.
- A Pew Research Center survey found that in 2023, only 61% of 12th-grade girls said they wanted to get married one day, down from 83% in 1993. (Boys stayed relatively the same, only declining from 76% to 74%.)
- Another Pew study noted that out of 130 countries, the United States has the highest percentage of children living in single-parent households (23%).
- In 2025, the U.S. Census Bureau said that only 47% of U.S. households were married couples, down from 66% half a century ago. Similarly, among households with married couples, only 37% had children of their own, down from 54% in 1975.
- Rates of cohabitation are also on the rise. In 1967, 0.6% of adults were cohabiting. In 2023, that number had risen to 13.4%.
- Divorce rates rose from 4.1 per 1,000 women in 1900 up to 22.6 per 1,000 women in 1980, but fell back down to 14.6 per 1,000 women in 2022.
Lower marriage rates; higher divorce rates; more broken and single-parent families; it paints a bleak picture. Clearly, expectations and assumptions surrounding the goodness of marriage and family have shifted for Americans.
Among younger generations, one survey reported that 2 in 5 (40%) of Gen Z and Millennials think marriage is an “outdated tradition.” And a full 85% of them don’t think marriage is necessary to have a “fulfilled and committed relationship.” At the same time, 83% of them still plan to get married at some point. But if getting married and having a family are truly “outdated” as they say, why do nearly the same percentage of people still plan to do just that?
Perhaps it is because of what the Bible has affirmed since the beginning: marriage and family are good, and these institutions are a blessing to all. Thankfully, sociological data also bears this out.
The benefits of marriage and family—and why the government should protect them
Sociological research has consistently demonstrated the benefits of marriage and family for all parties involved – husband, wife, and children.
Marriage and family benefit husbands and wives
According to data from the 2022 General Social Survey, both men and women ages 18-55 were most likely to say they are “very happy” if they are married with children. Similarly, 2020 Census data showed that married mothers ages 18-55 had a median family income of $108,000 compared to $41,000 for childless single women. And married men heading into retirement have roughly 10 times more assets than their divorced or never-married counterparts.
Cohabitation doesn’t provide these same benefits. As Brad Wilcox, professor and director of the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia and author of Get Married, writes,
“[J]ust living together doesn’t cut it. That’s because cohabitation is less committed, more unstable, and generally less happy than marriage. In fact, marriage is a better predictor of happiness than education, work, money, frequent sex, or regular religious attendance.”
Considering the clear benefits of marriage, it is astounding how much our culture portrays marriage as a misery or burden for husbands and wives. To be sure, any married couple will tell you that marriage can be challenging, but it is also deeply enriching and rewarding.
Marriage and family benefit children
It’s also well-documented that marriage benefits children. Children fare better across the board when they are raised in a stable household with a married mother and father. As Melissa S. Kearney, senior fellow at the Brookings Institution (not a conservative organization by any means), writes in TIME magazine,
“The evidence is clear, even if the punchline is uncomfortable: children are more likely to thrive— behaviorally and academically, and ultimately in the labor market and adult life—if they grow up with the advantages of a two-parent home. Numerous academic studies confirm that children raised in married parent homes are less likely to get in trouble in school or with the law; they are more likely to graduate high school and college; they are more likely to have higher income and be married themselves as adults.”
None of this is to say that children cannot succeed if their mother or father is absent, but the data clearly shows that children have the best chance of success when they live with their married mother and father.
Marriage and family benefit the government
In light of these benefits, it’s no wonder that governments have often privileged marriage and having children:
- Due to the economic benefits of marriage, families with married parents are less likely to be on welfare and more likely to be in a higher income bracket (as noted above), translating to more tax revenue and less strain on social services.
- Men who are married are less likely to commit crimes, decreasing the burden on the justice system.
- Children from households with married parents are more likely to become happy, productive citizens as adults.
- Married couples are more likely to have children and have the highest fertility rate. Governments need a growing population in order to sustain labor markets, maintain military readiness, and provide for programs like Social Security or pension systems. Falling birth rates threaten long-term economic and political stability.
Therefore, in order to protect the general welfare and flourishing of its citizens, it remains important for governments to protect marriage and the family today. Without those basic building blocks, civilization cannot sustain itself.
Legal threats to marriage and family
At this moment in the West, gender ideology represents a grave threat to marriage and the family. Gender ideology undermines the reality that God created humanity as male and female and that this reality is rooted in our biology. This has deep implications for how governments handle various aspects of married and family life:
- Rejection of God’s design for men and women led to the redefinition of marriage in the Obergefell decision in 2015.
- Gender ideology drives a wedge between parents and their children, causing children struggling with gender confusion to question whether their parents can be trusted and encouraging schools to hide critical information from parents about their children.
- Government officials in some states are discriminating against people of faith who seek to foster or adopt by excluding Americans with traditional religious beliefs from crucial child welfare services.
- Several states are limiting the counseling options available to families by censoring counseling speech on issues of gender and sexuality. In those places, counselors may only push children toward a gender transition, which often leads to harmful drugs and irreparable surgeries, rather than helping children regain comfort with their sex.
- Governments are seeking to redefine the word “sex” in civil rights laws like Title IX to include “gender identity” and “sexual orientation,” which would allow men who identify as women to enter women’s sports and women’s spaces. This jeopardizes gains made by women over the last 50 years and poses numerous threats to free speech and religious freedom for all Americans.
At Alliance Defending Freedom, we know that when government policy reflects false ideas about marriage and family, real people—often women and children—are harmed. That’s why ADF champions the truth that marriage and family matter and that they ought to be protected by law. In standing against the harms of gender ideology, ADF seeks to stop the needless harm that comes from rejecting the truth.
Conclusion
God’s design has not changed. Marriage and family remain the foundation of civilization—and they are worth defending. Marriage and family are vital God-created institutions that precede the government and directly shape the next generation.
Unlike what modern culture often suggests, marriage and family are not outdated relics of the past but enduring realities woven into the fabric of human flourishing. It is within the family that individuals are formed and shaped in their character through responsibility, sacrifice, and love. These relationships influence not only our private lives but also how we contribute to our communities, our nation, and the world.
The future of any civilization ultimately depends on the strength of the marriages and families that form it. By upholding and protecting these institutions, ADF is dedicated to preserving the conditions that allow individuals, families, and society itself to thrive.
This article was originally published at Alliance Defending Freedom.