On the Labels ‘Ex-Gay’ and ‘Ex-Homosexual’

My name has been mentioned in a few media outlets regarding the press conference I spoke at on May 29 regarding AB 2943.

• Orange County Register
• Life Site News (misspells my name)

Both of these media outlets have put me under the labels ‘ex-gay’ or ‘ex-homosexual.’ I just wanted to write a quick post regarding these labels.

‘Ex-Gay’ & ‘Ex-Homosexual’ are Bad Labels

These kinds of labels, and others like it (‘formers’ is another example) are not words I use to describe myself or my journey. To someone who is unfamiliar with my story or even with the general history of how the church has handled (and mishandled) LGBT issues in the past, these labels will usually not convey the correct ideas.

• First, people will usually interpret them to mean that I was once ‘gay’ or that I was once a ‘homosexual.’ Some will misunderstand these to mean that I was once sexually active with other men and am no longer. But this is not the case with me. I never have, and never intend to be, sexually active with another man.
• Second, people can also assume that such a label implies that I was once ‘gay’ but am now ‘straight.’ As far as my attractions are concerned, I have been same-sex attracted from puberty until today. While I’m totally open to the possibility of my orientation changing, I don’t view it as a prerequisite to my pursuit of holiness and faithfulness to God. I can still serve him as a single person that wrestles with same-sex attractions as a temptation.

As I’ve mentioned in other posts, I don’t like applying the label ‘gay’ to myself. Being ‘gay’ is not who I am, how I want to define myself, or how I want to live my life. I am a Christian, period. There are no additional qualifiers necessary. I just also happen to have same-sex attractions.

Reflections on the Press Conference

Looking back, I’m not sure if I would speak at this press conference again because of the confusion it could cause. However, I realize that by standing for the truth, people will be offended and misunderstand what I am trying to say.

The worldview from which AB 2943 originates says that I am living a fraudulent life because I am not living in accordance with my sexual desires. As one of the protesters at the press conference kept shouting, “You’re still gay, and that’s okay.” To them, I am just living in denial. To them, I am gay and that’s just who I am.

Well, they are not entirely wrong. I am living in denial, just not in the same way that they mean. I recall the words of Luke 9:23:

And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.”

I follow Christ. That’s the choice I made when I accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior, and it is the choice that I make on a daily basis.

I’m more than just my sexuality. I am a son of the Most High God. I choose to form my identity around this truth and who God says I am. He is my Creator and knows me better than I know myself. I know he loves me just as I am, and because of that love, he calls me to live in accordance with his commands and to obey him. That is who I am.