What Does the Bible Say About Bullying & What Should Christians Do About It

For many students, bullying is an everyday issue that they have to deal with at school. It happens more frequently than you might think. According to the American Medical Association, by the time students finish school, nearly half of students have been bullied at one point or another.[1] A study done by the Center for Disease Control in 2016 showed that 20.2% of students (grades 9-12) were bullied in the past year on campus and 15.5% had been bullied electronically (cyberbullying).[2]

Up until the past few decades, bullying was overlooked by most people, being viewed as “kids just being kids” or “a normal part of growing up.” But incidents such as the Columbine shooting (in which it was revealed that the shooters were the victims of bullying) or the recent Netflix series 13 Reasons Why have made bullying and harassment a more regularly discussed topic.

As I will show, bullying is a serious issue that needs to be addressed. Christians should never bully or tolerate bullying in any form.

What is Bullying?

People usually know what bullying is when they see it but it’s sometimes hard to put it into words. The American Psychological Association defines it as “a form of aggressive behavior in which someone intentionally and repeatedly causes another person injury or discomfort.”[3] Researchers who study bullying cite three common characteristics of what makes an act bullying:[4]

• Bullying is intentional and tries to cause harm or distress to the victim.
• Bullying occurs between two students who have different degrees of power. In other words, it usually involves a student who is more powerful (due to things like being more popular or physically stronger) singling out a student who is less powerful or different from their classmates in some way. This difference can be anything from a mental disability to a student’s race/ethnicity or even something like wearing glasses or different clothing.
• Bullying happens repeatedly over a period of time.

There are three types of bullying that occur:[5]

1. Physical: Hitting, kicking, spitting, tripping, pushing, breaking someone’s things, rude gestures.
2. Verbal: Teasing, name-calling, threats, inappropriate sexual comments, taunting.
3. Social: Leaving someone out of a group on purpose, telling others not to be friends with them, publicly embarrassing them, spreading gossip or rumors about someone, etc.

With the increased use of computers and cell phones, especially among teens, there is also a special type of bullying called cyberbullying, in which the harassment is done with electronic means like texting, email, social media, etc.

What are the Effects of Bullying? Why is it a Problem?

Whether the bullying is done in person, over the internet, or with a phone, the effects are very harmful. Though the effects of bullying were often overlooked and downplayed, as more research has been done, bullying has been shown to have long lasting negative effects – in extreme cases with deadly results.

Students who are bullied are more likely to be anxious, depressed, have feelings of loneliness and insecurity, have trouble sleeping, skip school or drop out, struggle with getting good grades, feel unsafe, etc.[6],[7],[8] In rare cases, bullying has played a role in students deciding to commit suicide or even to retaliate against their bullies in school shooting incidents.

Even other students who aren’t bullied but witness it happening at their school are at an increased risk of performing worse academically. They experience feelings of fear, intimidation, and distress because their attention is focused on not becoming the next victim rather than on academic tasks.[9]

What Does the Bible Say About Bullying?

The Bible never directly talks about bullying, but that doesn’t mean that the Bible has nothing to say about it. The Bible commands us to love our neighbor as ourselves (Mark 12:31) and to treat others the way we would like to be treated (Luke 6:31). There is no room in the Christian faith for belittling or abusing someone, whether physically, verbally, or socially. Every person, regardless of what he or she looks like or acts like, is created in the image of God (Genesis 1:26-27, James 3:9-10) and is worthy of the dignity that God gives to every person. As Christians, we are called to honor God with our words (Ephesians 4:29) and our actions (James 1:22). We need to be constantly examining our actions and motives to make sure they line up with these standards, asking God whether there is anything not pleasing to him (Psalm 139:23-24).

Bullying is never okay. 30% of students admit to bullying other students.[10] Make sure you are not one of them.

What Does the Bible Say About How to Respond to Bullying?

However, more than likely, if you are reading this, then you have probably been the victim of bullying rather than the perpetrator. How does God call us to respond if we are being bullied or we see someone else being bullied?

If you yourself have been bullied, start by meditating on passages like Psalms 139:13-18, which tells us that we are fearfully and wonderfully made and that God’s thoughts toward us are too numerous to count. You need to know that you are special to God and created in his image with immeasurable worth and value. Do not let the lies that bullies say to you influence what you think about yourself because what God says about you is the truth. He loves you and cherishes you for who he made you.

We also need to look at passages like Romans 12:17-21, which says,

¹⁷ Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. ¹⁸ If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. ¹⁹ Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. ²⁰ On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” ²¹ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. (Romans 12:17-21, NIV)

There are a couple of principles in this passage that we can apply to bullying.

The first is that we are to never try and get back at the bully or try and get revenge on them in some way. As Christians, we know that this world is not perfect, but we are not the judge of the world. God is the one who can judge the world in righteousness and repay everyone for the evil that they’ve done. God, in his wisdom, has also established other human authorities like the government (Romans 13:1-4) – or, maybe in your case, the police, school administration, or parents – to help make the situation right. You aren’t alone. Don’t be afraid to tell others what’s going on.

Secondly, respond to your bully with kindness and love. (I know this is easier said than done.) In the moment, it’s very easy to feel angry, upset, or defeated about your situation. But when a bully is being mean to you, usually they are expecting you to react a certain way – to be sad or upset or something like that – and that reaction can give them a sense of satisfaction. But what if, instead, you consistently respond with kindness and love? That could potentially catch them off guard and make them want to stop or even change how they act. It’s not a guarantee, but it’s worth trying. And even if it doesn’t change how they act, it’s what we are called to do. As the saying goes: two wrongs don’t make a right. Do not wrong them in return but do what is good.

But what about passages in the Bible that talk about turning the other cheek like Matthew 5:39 and Luke 6:29? It’s important to know that these passages are probably not referring to severe physical or emotional abuse, but rather a slap that is meant as an insult. However, even if that’s not the case, it makes little difference to the interpretation. Looking at the context, Jesus is teaching his disciples about suffering they are going to endure for being a Christian (Luke 6:22). His primary concern is speaking against the “eye for an eye” mentality of revenge (Matthew 5:38). As Christians, we are not to seek revenge, but this doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t defend ourselves. When Jesus himself was slapped unjustly in John 18:22-23, he did not turn his other cheek but rather defended himself by questioning the person who slapped him.

Looking at other passages in Scripture like Exodus 22:2-3, we can see that there are certain situations where using physical force to defend yourself is okay. However, do this only in situations where you are being physically assaulted and have no other choice. Use the amount of force necessary to escape, never to take revenge.

What should you do if you see someone else being bullied? As Christians, we are called to stand up for and defend those are unable to defend themselves and to protect those who are being bullied. If you see bullying happening, there are several things you are able to do.

What are Practical Ways to Respond to Bullying?

1. If you see something, say something. 28% of students grades 6-12 say that have been bullied at school.[11] Yet only 20-30% of those who are bullied actually report when they are bullied.[12] Whether you see someone being bullied or whether you are being bullied yourself, getting help from adults is one of the best ways to prevent future bullying. Something extremely important to remember is that it isn’t tattling to report bullying. Tattle-tales only tell on someone when they just want to get them in trouble. But reporting bullying is motivated by the desire to protect others. Reporting bullying protects you, the person being bullied, and everyone else around you.
2. Stick up for your friends and other classmates if you see them being bullied. 70.6% of students say that they have witnessed bullying on campus,[13] yet very few of them actually defend the person being bullied. Some students encourage bullying by cheering the bully on or even join in on the bullying themselves, by most students watch and do nothing because they are afraid. However, when a bystander intervenes, more than half the time, bullying will stop within 10 seconds.[14] Doing nothing helps bullies because it allows them to continue bullying without consequences. We need to have courage and stand up for those who can’t or won’t defend themselves. Of course, use wisdom in all situations. If there’s a situation that looks dangerous, get an adult to help or call the police.
3. Stick up for yourself if you are being bullied. This may be difficult to do, but if you are able to stay calm and respond in a loving manner, then you have every right to defend yourself and speak the truth. If you can’t, then get help or go somewhere else.
4. If possible, avoid being alone where a bully can reach you. There’s greater safety if you are with your friends.
5. On the same theme, if you see someone being bullied, invite them to be a part of your friend group or hang out with you at lunch. This will help them not feel alone.
6. Speak truthful and loving things to your friends who are bullied. Let them know that you love them for who they are and who God has made them.

What About Cyberbullying?

Many of the same principles that apply to regular bullying will also apply to cyberbullying, but the practical aspects require some special attention for several reasons.

1. It can be done at any time, day or night.
2. It can be done at a distance; the bully doesn’t need to be physically present.
3. Embarrassing photos or messages can be posted and shown to more people at once. It can also be very difficult to delete or remove these things once posted.
4. Cyberbullying in many cases can be done anonymously with no other witnesses. It is completely dependent on the student being bullied to report what has happened.

Here are some practical ways to combat cyberbullying:

1. Again, if you see something say something. Most students are afraid that their parents will take away their phone or computer if they tell them what’s going on. However, if you are open and honest about what’s happening, your parents will want to support you and help resolve the issue and shouldn’t take away those things if you haven’t done anything wrong.
2. Don’t respond to cyberbullying. Remember, they are looking to get a reaction of some kind out of you. If you don’t say anything, then they don’t get what they want.
3. Don’t be afraid to block or unfriend people on social media who are bullying you. This is the easiest way to stop receiving negative messages.
4. Keep evidence of cyberbullying with dates, times, screenshots, emails, etc. Cyberbullying violates the terms of service on most major social media sites. Use this evidence to report them to the website’s administration.
5. Never send pictures or videos to anyone that you wouldn’t want all of your friends to be able to see, even with someone you trust like a boyfriend or girlfriend. Once you send a photo or video, it’s completely out of your control what that other person does with it. There are plenty of stories out there of an ex posting embarrassing photos or videos after breaking up.
6. For similar reasons, never send any sexual material or pictures meant to make you look “sexy”. Not only is this wrong because you are causing someone else to lust (Matthew 5:27-28, 18:7) but you are also degrading your self-worth and value by objectifying your body (1 Corinthians 6:18-20).
7. If you are being sent sexually explicit material or threatening messages or photos, tell your parents immediately and report it to the police.
8. Don’t ever respond to someone you don’t know or haven’t met. There are adults that pretend to be teenagers saying they “want to be friends,” but in reality, many of them are sexual predators and will try bullying you into doing something you’re uncomfortable with like sending them nude photos.

Conclusion

Bullying is wrong – period. As Christians, we are called to act in love in kindness towards everyone, including those who wrong us. Don’t ever act out of anger or revenge, but rather obey the golden rule as stated in Luke 6:31 – “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Above all, don’t try and go through this alone. Your family, friends, and church love and care about you and are there to support you.

               [1]Richard T. Scarpaci, “Bullying,” Kappa Delta Pi Record 42, no. 4 (Summer 2006): 170-174. Education Research Complete, EBSCOhost (accessed June 10, 2017).

               [2]Laura Kann et al., “Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance – United States, 2015,” Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report, Surveillance Summaries 65, no.6 (June 10, 2016): 1-180. Accessed June 10, 2017. https://www.cdc.gov/healthyyouth/data/yrbs/pdf/2015/ss6506_updated.pdf

               [3]”Bullying.” American Psychological Association. Accessed June 10, 2017. http://www.apa.org/topics/bullying/index.aspx

               [4]Ashley L. Cohen, “Bullying,” Research Starters: Education (January 2017): Research Starters, EBSCOhost (accessed June 10, 2017).

               [5]“Bullying Definition.” StopBullying.gov. Accessed June 10, 2017. https://www.stopbullying.gov/what-is-bullying/definition/index.html.

               [6] Ashley L. Cohen, “Bullying”.

               [7] “Effects of Bullying.” StopBullying.gov. Accessed June 11, 2017. https://www.stopbullying.gov/at-risk/effects/index.html

               [8] Kathryn S. Whitted and David R. Dupper, “Best Practices for Preventing or Reducing Bullying in Schools,” Children & Schools 27, no. 3 (July 2005): 167-175. Academic Search Premier, EBSCOhost (accessed June 11, 2017).

               [9] Ibid.

               [10] “Facts About Bullying,” StopBullying.gov. Accessed June 11, 2017. https://www.stopbullying.gov/media/facts/index.html.

               [11] “Facts About Bullying,” StopBullying.gov. Accessed June 11, 2017. https://www.stopbullying.gov/media/facts/index.html.

               [12] Ibid.

               [13] Ibid.

               [14] Ibid.